the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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