Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize