Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize