highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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