Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
