Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
