I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
