new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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