I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
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