Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
