Kareoke will never be a sober sport
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
