If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
