Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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