I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
