I'm so fucking centered right now
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
