She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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