I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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