apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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