he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Randomize
