this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Randomize