Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
