I understand why you refuse to be sober now
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
