mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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