Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Sex in the backyard? Check.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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