don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
