Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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