And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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