I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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