it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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