I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
