I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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