Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
