Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize