Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
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