Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets

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(561): View more from Florida

I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..

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(407): View more from Florida

Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes

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(601): View more from Mississippi

"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move

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(214): View more from Texas

We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.

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(408): View more from California

I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.

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(862): View more from New Jersey

That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.

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(310): View more from California

I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked

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