am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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