Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
