RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
only you would photoshop your dick
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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