so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
