what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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