Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
