I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
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Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
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She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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