I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
