Duck Duck Cougar?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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