get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You are the jesus of drinking
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
