**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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