You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
When are your genitals available?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
