Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
