The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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