The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
