Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
