Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
His hands were made for my vagina.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
