EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
