I wish I could punch you in the face.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
