haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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