butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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