I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
