wanna go halves on a baby?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
