So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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