First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
