All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize