people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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