if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
we should paint friendship bongs
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize